Dellabee and Me

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A Tale of Two Playdates

I have been stretching outside of my comfort zone a bit in order to expand the kids’ social lives.

It’s all about the kids.

So, prior to a recent teacher workday, I called one of Desi’s friends and spoke with his father to invite the kid over to play. Desi doesn’t get along with many kids, especially if they are his age or older. He tends to be high maintenance. But he had several playdates with this boy over the summer and I was impressed with how well they got along, so I had no concerns about inviting him over to play for a few hours.

Well, things have changed. Within minutes of his arrival, pretty much as soon as his parent pulled out of the driveway, this child turned into a human weather event. He went wild. There was shrieking, and running. There were sword fights with non-sword items. Did I mention the shrieking? As I have mentioned before, this might be normal behavior for most boys but this is not how Desi plays. I knew it was a disaster when he came into the kitchen and said “um, Jack is kind of wild.” I agreed. Desi was as confused as I.

Then, the playdate hit its climax: Desi sprinted downstairs and said “Mommy! Jack picked his nose and he ate it!” and then he gagged and gagged. He is my son, after all.

When Jack’s dad picked him up, he asked how he was and I said “um, he was a little wild.” He had the nerve to look surprised and then told Jack to say thank you for having him. Jack walked out without making eye contact with any of us and said “whatever.”

So, pretty sure that playdate ended in a break-up.

Not to be deterred, I invited a mom of one of my daughter’s classmates to come over with her kids. We have just begun hanging out and I really like her so we are in the courting phase of our friendship, in which I provide her with tasty snacks in my newly clean home and the kids get along fabulously. Or some version of that fantasy.

In the reality version, within 5 minutes of her arrival her younger child clubbed Ella in the head with a golf club (that should not have been in Desi’s room, btw), forcing me to bring her to the ER while my new friend stayed at my house with the rest of the kids. Not exactly how I pictured our time together.

When Ella and I returned from the ER, Desi and my friend’s older son were having a wonderful time acting out various Star Wars scenarios. My friend had sent her younger child, the golfer, home. We were both relieved that things had turned out okay with Ella and I persuaded her to stay a bit longer so we could chat. Within 10 minutes of our grown-up time in the kitchen while the kids were in the front room, Desi came running in to announce – loudly – that Ella had just showed the boys her “lady penis.” I turned to my new friend and tried to act like I had no idea what this lady penis was, despite the fact that I have actually had multiple conversations with both kids about how we keep our private areas um, private.

My friend left soon after, her son’s innocence lost, while I sat at the table with my head in my hands. I should have blamed the lady penis incident on the head injury, but it was too late. Argh. I completely understand why moms invite others over to drink while the kids play.

Playdates are rough.


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4 thoughts on “A Tale of Two Playdates

  1. what happened to the days of us sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee while the children quietly played in the next room? Lady penis? Bhahahahahahaaaa

  2. That’s kind of fantastic though. I would have laughed my ass off if that happened at a playdate. I hope she comes back, that will make her a keeper!

    • desmomma04 on said:

      We have had a follow-up playdate! No head injuries or lady penises were involved in the making of said playdate. I think she IS a keeper! So now I have to move away in a few months…and so it goes…sigh…

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