After the move
We have landed in our new home. It is this brick beauty, lodged at the edge of the woods on 1.5 acres, at the end of the street. Cute, isn’t it?
I have dreamed about living “in the country” for years. Yet every home I have ever owned – or rented – was within a subdivision, which are never really “in the country.” The reality of country living is not at all the way I imagined it. The biggest difference?
Holy hell, the bugs here are plentiful. And large. Gross also comes to mind. I never realized I was such a baby about bugs until I found a tick attached to my ribs, just below my left boob. Cue the shrieking, hysterical tears, and uncontrollable hand flinging.
A tick. Near my boob.
Thankfully, my husband is pretty much a rock star when it comes to using tweezers. He has plucked a total of 3 ticks off of my body in the last 2 weeks.
Between the ticks, the giant cockroaches that are apparently common in the woodsy areas of the south (tree roaches, how cute – not), and the physical act of moving an entire household 160 miles, I am surprised that I am able to stand upright at all this week. I am covered with bruises, bug bites, and scrapes. I am tired.
My biggest fear about moving was the impact it might have on my mental state. People tried to reassure me that this move would be different from the big one – that the circumstances are different, I am different, everything about it is different. So there is no reason to expect the same response, right?
Yet, I am struggling. The house is not unpacked yet so there is a fair bit of chaos around me, which creates mental chaos. The heat is, well, the way it is here in the summer (oppressive? stifling? unbearable?). The bugs are plentiful. I feel physically uncomfortable outside and mentally uncomfortable inside. My husband is working from home and the kids are out of school for the summer, which means I am in charge of them throughout all of this.
How to cope? Well, I have fallen back on an old habit – overeating. Eating sweets. I know this is not okay. I can feel that I am gaining weight – my pants feel snug, my face looks fuller.
The other thing I want to do is shop furiously. Online, mostly, since I don’t know where anything is nearby. I have resisted this so far, although I have plenty of things in my virtual shopping carts.
I am not panicking yet. I am trying to be gentle towards myself. There are so many unknowns right now – I have no job, no friends, no sense of where I am – that I can’t beat myself up for falling down. I keep telling myself that this is temporary. Things will become familiar. I will find a job, and I will probably be able to collect unemployment until then. I will get my eating back under control. I will resume running. I will be okay.
I really believe this.
So I am taking things one step at a time. Today, I took the camera out and wandered around the property – taking some pics and remembering how much I love doing that.
So, I hope to be posting more regularly as I get my groove back.