We have landed in our new home. It is this brick beauty, lodged at the edge of the woods on 1.5 acres, at the end of the street. Cute, isn’t it?
I have dreamed about living “in the country” for years. Yet every home I have ever owned – or rented – was within a subdivision, which are never really “in the country.” The reality of country living is not at all the way I imagined it. The biggest difference?
Holy hell, the bugs here are plentiful. And large. Gross also comes to mind. I never realized I was such a baby about bugs until I found a tick attached to my ribs, just below my left boob. Cue the shrieking, hysterical tears, and uncontrollable hand flinging.
A tick. Near my boob.
Thankfully, my husband is pretty much a rock star when it comes to using tweezers. He has plucked a total of 3 ticks off of my body in the last 2 weeks.
Between the ticks, the giant cockroaches that are apparently common in the woodsy areas of the south (tree roaches, how cute – not), and the physical act of moving an entire household 160 miles, I am surprised that I am able to stand upright at all this week. I am covered with bruises, bug bites, and scrapes. I am tired.
My biggest fear about moving was the impact it might have on my mental state. People tried to reassure me that this move would be different from the big one – that the circumstances are different, I am different, everything about it is different. So there is no reason to expect the same response, right?
Yet, I am struggling. The house is not unpacked yet so there is a fair bit of chaos around me, which creates mental chaos. The heat is, well, the way it is here in the summer (oppressive? stifling? unbearable?). The bugs are plentiful. I feel physically uncomfortable outside and mentally uncomfortable inside. My husband is working from home and the kids are out of school for the summer, which means I am in charge of them throughout all of this.
How to cope? Well, I have fallen back on an old habit – overeating. Eating sweets. I know this is not okay. I can feel that I am gaining weight – my pants feel snug, my face looks fuller.
The other thing I want to do is shop furiously. Online, mostly, since I don’t know where anything is nearby. I have resisted this so far, although I have plenty of things in my virtual shopping carts.
I am not panicking yet. I am trying to be gentle towards myself. There are so many unknowns right now – I have no job, no friends, no sense of where I am – that I can’t beat myself up for falling down. I keep telling myself that this is temporary. Things will become familiar. I will find a job, and I will probably be able to collect unemployment until then. I will get my eating back under control. I will resume running. I will be okay.
I really believe this.
So I am taking things one step at a time. Today, I took the camera out and wandered around the property – taking some pics and remembering how much I love doing that.
Clearly, the fence needs some adjusting
The deck is slightly more secure
There are several trees like this here – not sure what they are
So, I hope to be posting more regularly as I get my groove back.